Saturday, May 10, 2014

Divorced Moms, Happy Mother's Day!

Mothering is complicated in the best of circumstances, full of loss and worry as well as joy and hope. Mothering as a divorced mom has its additional challenges. This Mother's Day wish is particularly for those moms who . . . 

listen, let go, and have faith in a vision of shared parenting;

long for the nightly bed-time rituals that happen, now, less often;

deal with the loneliness of an empty nest, not at eighteen, but at four, or six, or eight;

perfect the art of cheerfully saying, "that's terrific; I love hearing about it and I love that you had a great time" even while silently grieving;  

learn to fill their time with other important things;

and it is to those moms . . .

whose teenager, needing at last to bond with his dad as never before and lacking any graceful way to ask for the opportunity, rages and rages and rages (this being the price of having raised a son secure enough in his mother's love that he knows that though he pushes her away with all his might, she'll never go away).

For you, I wish that at least part of Mother's Day (because you may have only part, if this is your ex-spouse's weekend), feels uncomplicated. I wish that for several hours, you experience nothing but the pure joy of your children, and of being the terrific mom that you are.